My heart is unprepared for this

Pulled up this site on my browser this morning. I have to admit that it's a somewhat sentiment-driven move. In a few weeks, John and I will be having our 5th wedding anniversary. October 5, 2015 is the exact date. Time flew swiftly and we didn't notice that together, we've been through so much. We've conquered millions of "daily adventures."

We've been busy being happy that we lost track of time.

Almost two years ago, a rare form of cancer almost stole him from me. But John succeeded in fighting it. I was the happiest soul when his oncologist declared that his last chemotherapy session offered a definitive and happy picture of where they'd want his battle to be -- the end of it and the start of John's nth chance at life. From there, we've charted our next plans and made them happen. We learned to live one day at a time. We moved to California from Oregon. We poured more effort into our business, developed new ideas and products and still working on our business growth.

But the past seems to be re-surfacing lately and it's been giving me sleepless nights. There are strange lumps or growth near John's diaphragm, some pains near his spleen and a weird feeling of discomfort near the prostate area. I hope the relapse isn't here yet. I just want John to have a happy, pain-free, uninterrupted life.

I swear, my heart is unprepared for this.


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